Changing my life

Please excuse this blog for a moment. As you have probably been able

to tell lately I've had some things that have been requiring a change in the

order.

I've been secretly struggling with it for some time. Trying to decided

what needs to be done and the best way of fitting everyone and

everything into the priority schedule that is me. After taking on way

way too much I decided in the last couple of weeks that it isn't gonna

be that way anymore.

So I made an early New Year's resolution. My resolution is to make

the next year of my life focused on my goals and bucket list. I'm not

totally sure what all that truly means yet, but I'm guessing it will have

some big implications in the lives of people around me.

First step was to deactivate Facebook. I find myself reaching out to

people, being friendly, commenting on their stuff, letting people know

that someone pays attention. Yet I get very very little of that in return.

So until I figure out how to treat Facebook and the people on it in a

way that doesn't monopolize my life I will not be using it.

Next step I am taking is that I am going to start blogging more. I have

set a goal of at least one new post a week. Maybe just an update on

how the world seems to be going for me, but at the very least it will

be a weekly post, maybe more depending on the inspiration of it.

As far as everything else I am working out plans for that. I have already

made some decisions that will change our lives. I'll start posting about

those things and choices in time. Right now I have to figure out how to

say it.

So the changed priorities will have some good and some bad. I know

that it will be both for me and I am finally ready at 30 to take on that

challenge and get what I want out of life. I guess people will have two

choices either they can accept the change and stay in my life or they

can have a problem with it and then be left behind because one thing

is for certain this train is about to leave the station with a new schedule

and you are either on board or left at the station....



Decisions decisions!

“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” ~Flora Whittemore

So I find myself on this little blog burst lately about decisions. Part of it is that I
 have a rather difficult decision that I must make regarding some extended
 family situations. I put the idea out on facebook the other day and it seems
that I am making the right choice but that doesn't make the choice any easier
 to make.

Sometimes we are forced to make a choice off of another's actions. It is
 often not fair but that is part of the world that we live in. We have to know
 that our world is not just controlled by our own actions but by the actions of
 those around us. We will be presented with the choice of a door that we did
not intend to open or close and we have to choose to react to it in a way that
is not only reprsentative of our goals and desires but of the goals and things
we want to encourage in our children.

We can't expect people to schedule their lives around our activities. That is
a very selfish idea in all. We have to accept that sometimes people will want
to do something that does not fit our own goals and desires and we will have
to accept it and move forward. No matter how hard we try we can't make
someone do something that is in our best interest if it is not in the best interest
of their own lives.

Just like the way leads on to way, life is full of all kinds of choices between
a path and another path, both might seem equally nice but we know in
our hearts that one might be better for us than the other. Maybe its the one
that is harder and even though it would be nice, just this once to take the
easy way out we know that doing this would set us back a step on our
ultimate goal.

Sometimes making the executive decision involves doing what isn't easy
and then standing by the choice even when it gets hard. I know in the
long run that this gets me closer to my intended goal and I guess that I
should stay focused on that part.

Here's to hoping the next decision will be much easier to make though.
 

A Football wife-*Taken from another blog*

THE FOOTBALL WIFE

Thank you to my friend who gave me permission to share this with all of you! This is why a football wife is something special!

THE GOOD LORD WAS CREATING A MODEL FOR FOOTBALL WIVES, AND WAS INTO HIS SIXTH DAY OF OVERTIME WHEN AN ANGEL APPEARED. SHE SAID, "LORD YOU SEEM TO BE HAVING A LOT OF TROUBLE WITH THIS ONE. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE STANDARD MODEL?" THE LORD REPLIED, "HAVE YOU SEEN THE SPECS ON THIS ORDER? SHE HAS TO BE COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT, POSSESS THE QUALITIES OF BOTH MOTHER AND FATHER, BE A PERFECT HOSTESS TO 4 OR 40 WITH AN HOURS NOTICE, RUN ON BLACK COFFEE, HANDLE EVERY EMERGENCY IMAGINABLE WITHOUT A MANUEL, BE ABLE TO CARRY ON CHEERFULLY, EV EN IF SHE IS PREGNANT AND HAS THE FLU, AND SHE MUST BE WILLING TO MOVE TO A NEW LOCATION 10 TIMES IN 17 YEARS. THE ANGEL SHOOK HER HEAD. "SIX PAIRS OF HANDS? NO WAY." THE LORD CONTINUED, "DON'T WORRY, WE WILL MAKE OTHER FOOTBALL WIVES TO HELP HER. AND WE WILL GIVE HER AN UNUSUALLY STRONG HEART SO IT CAN SWELL WITH PRIDE IN HER HUSBANDS ACHIEVEMENTS, SUSTAIN THE PAIN OF SEPARATIONS, BEAT SOUNDLY WHEN IT IS OVERWORKED AND TIRED, & BE LARGE ENOUGH TO SAY, "I UNDERSTAND WHEN SHE DOESN'T, AND SAY I LOVE YOU REGARDLESS."LORD, SAID THE ANGEL, TOUCHING HIS ARM GENTLY, "GO TO BED & GET SOME REST. YOU CAN FINISH THIS TOMORROW." "I CAN'T STOP NOW," SAID THE LORD, "I AM SO CLOSE TO CREATING SOMETHING UNIQUE. ALREADY THIS MODEL HEALS HERSELF WHEN SHE IS SICK, CAN PUT UP 6 UNEXPECTED GUESTS FOR THE WEEKEND, WAVE GOODBYE TO HER HUSBAND AND UNDERSTANDS WHY IT IS IMPORTANT THAT HE LEAVE."
THE ANGEL CIRCLED THE MODEL OF THE FOOTBALL WIFE, LOOKED AT IT CLOSELY AND SIGNED, "IT LOOKS FINE, BUT IT'S TOO SOFT." "SHE MIGHT LOOK SOFT," REPLIED THE LORD, "BUT SHE HAS STRENGTH OF A LION. YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT SHE CAN ENDURE."FINALLY THE ANGEL BENT OVER AND RAN HER FINGER ACROSS THE CHEEK OF THE LORD'S CREATION. "THERE'S A LEAK," SHE ANNOUNCED. "SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THE CONSTRUCTION. I AM NOT SURPRISED THAT IT HAS CRACKED. YOU ARE TRYING TO PUT TOO MUCH INTO THIS MODEL."THE LORD APPEARED OFFENDED AT THE ANGEL'S LACK OF CONFIDENCE. "WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT A LEAK, IT IS A TEAR."
"A TEAR WHAT IS IT THERE FOR?" ASKED THE ANGEL.
THE LORD REPLIED. "IT'S FOR JOY, SADNESS, PAIN, DISAPPOINTMENT, LONELINESS, PRIDE & DEDICATION TO ALL THE THINGS SHE & HER HUSBAND HOLD DEAR."
"YOUR A GENIUS!" EXCLAIMED THE ANGEL.
THE LORD LOOKED PUZZLED & REPLIED, "I DIDN'T PUT IT THERE."

Two roads diverged in a wood....

This is my favorite poem of all time! "I took the one less traveled by, and that

has made all the difference." We all come to points in our lives, on a daily basis

where we must chose which path to take. As the famous Yogi Berra said "When

 you come to a fork in the road take it."

Thinking about it you may laugh at first. Well of course you have to take it, but

if you think about it I think its more about take the fork in the road and don't

look back.One of my favorite lines in the poem is "Oh I kept the first for

another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted that I should

ever come back."

Choosing a path to take can be easy and hard, some of lifes choices seem simple

(Should I eat a Cheeseburger or chicken sandwhich for lunch?) Some of

them are tougher( Should I quit my job for this other opportunity?) I think most

 people would see that choosing them can lead you down a different path.

Like the poem says "way leads on to way." Our lives are the sum total of our

choices. We don't get the chance to take the path that we didn't choose the 

 first time. We are never in the same position we once held. As the paths add

 up we find ourselves pulled in a direction.Sometimes away from the first path.

 The path chosen leads on to a new set of paths. Each with new choices and

 new chances.

Sometimes our paths aren't that much different from where we want to be but

 like the road sometimes the detour leads us to a chance to do something

different. In my early college years I wanted to be an elementary school teacher.

 I never could have imagined that at 30 I would be still in college. The choice to

get married and have children in my early 20's, certainly is not that common of a

choice now(at least among the people I know).

My life is the sum of my choices. I won't graduate from college, with my bachelor

degree anyway,until I am 32 or 33. I never did have a wild and crazy 20's

(although I don't really think that I missed much). I made choices that altered my

 path in so many ways fromwhat I thought it would be, but I took the road less

traveled and that has made me the person I am today.

The miracle of childbirth

A little disclaimer first** THIS BLOG IN NO WAY IS A HINT THAT I
AM, WILL, OR WANT TO BECOME PREGNANT NOW ARE IN THE
FUTURE****



Ok now that this part is out of the way I will get started. It seems everywhere
I look lately someone is pregnant, just had a baby or is trying to get pregnant.
I am amazed at how different each persons experience is and how the stress
of the situation is handled differently.

For me getting pregnant was easy. I didn't even have to try to get pregnant.
My pregnancies where all unplanned. I had very little issues with the pregnancies,
carried my children to full term and besides some anemia issues I did pretty
 well.I managed to carry twins to full term and if I hadn't been unlucky enough to
 have Medicaid for my pregnancy with Makiah(I feel bad for people who have to
 use that as their health insurance) I would have had all of them through vaginal
 delivery.

For me pregnancy was easy, but for many people it is not. I have several friends
that have had to go through IVF or other ways to get pregnant. I've had several
 friends that have had miscarriages and disappointments. I've had some friends
 that have delivered babies before 30 weeks.

Lots of people talk about colors, clothes, parties, names and being ready for baby
 to come out. I have to admit I got to that point at each of my pregnancies. How
easy it was to forgot the miracles that where taking place in my body. How this
little person was growing, developing, and creating a new part in my life with each
passing moment.

Recently a good friend of mine suffered a miscarriage. She suffers from infertility
 issues and had been trying to get pregnant for awhile. She was 17 weeks when
she miscarried and had just seen her baby for the first time the day before. She
 was devastated and has been blogging about her experience. The feelings she
has about the whole situation. The anger she feels toward her own body, the
way that she has struggled with deciding if she is ready to start trying again. All
of these questions are things that she has struggled with.

Reading her blog and talking to her I realize just how lucky I was to have
the 5 children I do with such ease. Some days, especially as they get older
I forget about those moments and start to complain about not having money,
not going on a honeymoon, not being able to do things. Then I realize just
how much work I did to create them and I smile a little more and say thanks
to my stretch mark rippled belly for all it did to produce 5 miracles.

"Mom-esteem"

Mom-Esteem(n.)-respect for or feeling good about the choices
one makes as a Mother

 From the moment the kids sit down at the breakfast
table(cereal or hot homemade breakfast and don't get me started
on the sugar and dyes), to the minute they go to bed(is 9pm too late)
I am constantly presented with the opportunity to judge my own
choices and try to decide if I am doing the "right" thing.

As a mom we have the added benefit of "mommy" friends that we
compare ourselves to at every single minute. Sometimes the worst
thing that we can do as a mom is talk to our friends about what they
do or how they do it.

The mom that tells you she homeschools her kids(OMG, you must
have the patience of a saint to be able to do that) . The mom that
says she feeds her kids only organic foods(Do they make organic
cheetos?). The mom that tells you she only lets the kids watch 1 hour
of TV a week(That reminds me I should really look into purchasing stock
in Disney and Nickleodeon). These are all people that we will compare
ourselves too.

The thing is that no matter how much "research" you do, or how many
times you tell people about how much you think it is the right choice, it
is only your choice. My choice to have my children attend a pretty good
public school(Can you imagine what the unemployment rate would look
like if no one sent their kids to school?),  indulge in a non organic food, or
watch TV when they want(it goes off for dinner and homework) doesn't
make me any less effective as a parent as you are.

The thing I have learned is that we all pick our battles. Those things that
we stake our Momfidence on. Those things that we believe are essential
in making our kids productive members of a future society. We want to
give them a healthy start. But come on generations of children grew up
eating the occasional hotdog, french fry and soda. Generations of children
have survived in public schools, lots of kids have watched TV and been
able to function properly.

So the word Mom-esteem means that you know you are doing what is
best for your family. When someone tells you that it isn't how they would
do it you look at them and say "It's what works for us." You don't feel
the need to post cartoons or links to things that criticize people for making
arguments against it. Honestly that shows you probably aren't as comfortable
with your choice as you say.

So here is to a high Mom-esteem and next time you want to question or
"preach" about other peoples choices then you should think about why you
do what you do and then back up and wait for someone to ask for your
opinion.

The best laid plans....

"The best laid plans of mice and men often go arie"

That isn't a bad thing though. In my opinion the true test of a

person is how we react to things when they don't go the way

that we planned them. Are we prepared to move forward and

get the best results out of the rest of the time we have.

I think of this every week when I see my husband working on

the game plan for the week. He's feverishly trying to figure

out which plays to put in and which plays to use that will stop

the other team from scoring. On Saturday he starts playing and

it only takes a couple of missed plays and it would seem that it

would be time to give up.

Those of you that know football know that it is more a game of

committment than of actual game. I'm not implying that skill is not

needed but you'd be amazed at how well people who believe in

themselves can play even when the skill isn't always present.

I often hear my husband tell the players that it doesn't matter how

many times the offense gives up the ball, or how many plays that

the defense has to play. Each time the defense has to go out there

and believe that they can do it.

If they give up on the entire game after a couple of bad plays

then that wouldn't be much of a game. The same can be said

of life, if we give up on our goal after a couple of seemingly

hard failures than we'd be giving up in the first quarter of

our "game".

How many times has a team made an amazing comeback?

How many times have we seen a team throw a last

minute touchdown or make that goal-line stop to win

the game. The team didn't make an amazing comeback

because they gave up on the goal. Infact they actually did what

I think few people think about. They believed that they could

do it and they made the changes necessary to get it done.

Life is much the same way. If you want something then just

because you can't accomplish it in the first half of your game

doesn't mean that you can't do it in the 3rd quarter. I'm living

proof of that. I am finishing my bachelor's degree in my 30's.

I never gave up on that dream, even though I had to leave school

twice because the timing was off I kept making it a priority

and eventually got to the point where it was something that I

could accomplish!

So just like in football, things will not go the way that we

expected or planned them to go, but if we make the correct

adjustments we have the chance of making our goals into

a win!!!!