My Shovel

After getting 4ft of snow this weekend in Good Old Western NY I realized what a useful tool a shovel really is. Digging yourself out of this heavy blanket of snow is a challenge not for that faint of heart. I started realizing how much problems are similar to snowstorms.  Problems can come in small "flurries", they can be small amounts and minor disturbances that can require you to take a little extra time or make a few minor changes. They can also be the proverbial "Lake Effect" kind too.  My Upstate NY friends know that the words Lake Effect Snow mean you are in for some serious accumulations. When you get those types of problems they may disrupt your life for sometime but with great amount of effort and support from friends you can dig out.

While discussing with my friend Randy how problems where like snowstorms, he told me " You know what though Liz? If you grab a shovel and get after it that snowstorm eventual eases up and before you know it, it's spring!! And Spring sure is beautiful....."

That made me think. In a way that most words of support do not. Grab your shovel? That simple phrase spoke volumes to me. Litterally it means get off your lazy bottom and do something to make it better but in the figuritve sense it meant so much more. Planning, commitment, a strong work ethic and most of all faith can be enough of a shovel for most people to get out of an avalanche of problems they may have.

The truth in life though is that sometimes we get socked with problem after problem and while we are still trying to dig out from the last issue we are getting covered by the next. In those cases many of us get overwhelmed and just quit! We walk away from things that we where so close to having finally dug out from.

During this last two year cycle I have had numerous problems showered upon me, most of them being of my own creation I do admit. At times I have been buried so much that I had to reach up just to touch rock bottom. At each of those moments I have leaned on a different shovel or a combination of them. Using faith and hope to believe that soon enough I would see the light. Planning and then committing and using a strong work ethic to get to that plan.

Often I do admit that I have had to lean on those very few people that I know have my back. Sometimes I have had to ask them for their shovels and strength in order to help too. It always amazes me how much people will do to help you out even when nothing comes back to them in return. But just like you would in the real snowstorm asking someone might be the only way you begin to dig out. The only way you begin to see the light and begin to feel the warmth. And as my dear friend said "And Spring sure is beautiful......"

A glimpse at the past or a vision of the future

Sometimes when the weather has turned much colder you'll get those unseasonably warm days. In the Northeast they can seem out of place, the brillance of the warmth and sun in stark contrast to the barron trees and dying grass. These days can feel like one last glimpse of the summer. One last chance to enjoy before the cold sets in.


People too go through these moments in life. We all have moments where we are reminded of something that once was or something we now long to have. Who hasn't when seeing an old flame thought about a happy moment together.  Or when running into a former coworker thought maybe that would be a job I can do again.

Some people spend a moment or two on the past, fondly remembering the past. Others spend their whole lives thinking about their mistakes, the mistakes of others and never fully realize that while they are concentrating on the past and making sure nothing else happens to them that they are in essence making sure nothing else does happen, good or bad.

My biggest pet peeve is when people longing look at the past and say "oh well too much has happened I can't go back to that." That is a correct statement, who in us really wants to go back to what we use to be. I surely do not want to be 19 years old again...it was hell enough the first time. Yeah it might be nice to change some mistakes here and there but in reality I am who I am because of the choices I've made in my life.

What bothers me most about these people is that they could very easily have something better than they had before if they where to put the effort into it. Life is full of lessons, no one said it was ever suppose to be easy. Someone once told me you can't remodel a house without busting down some walls and tearing things up. Having dabbled in home remodeling before I know how much of a mess that can be, and when everything is covered in dust its hard to understand how this finish product will ever come about.

Sometimes I feel like we need to do that, or more correctly god needs to do that in order to get our "house" in order.  Sometimes we need to tear things up and move things around, we need to break down a relationship and rebuild it. When you are in the process of remodeling you don't stop half way and say "Oh well it's too hard I'm just gonna go find a new house." No that would be silly because at some point you'll see that too needs remodeling.

Who among us hasn't said well it's too scary...there is too much to change, I don't even know if I really can. That is the "dust" that is covering your house. The insecurity, fear or failure or one of a hundred other emotions. Sit long enough and that dust will cover you as well. If however you stand up and brush off the dust, pick up a tool and start working on it again I bet the finished product will be much better than whatever it was before it began.

No it isn't going to be exactly the same but honestly if it was fine the way it was it would not have needed to be remodeled to begin with. From my experience no one has a home that stay perfect for long and as we change, and grow so does the house. Sometimes its a seamless change other times its a major remodel but each time it's still our house....

Who's in your reserved section?

   I can say I have been blessed enough to go to several college and NFL football games this year, each time sitting in the reserved sections of those facility that are for players and coaches close family and friends. Those sections tend to be a sort of safe haven for the people that sit there.  A special place where those with a vested interest can sit together, bond and know that they are all in this together.
   Sitting in this section can be a saving grace for an away game, especially when you are surrounded by thousands of people that hope your team loses. Rashaan and I often talk about going to people's jobs and heckling them when they screw something up. It's like that Peyton Manning commercial where he is cheering for average people doing average jobs.
   It's while sitting in this area of the stadium that I realize that I now have my own reserved section. These are the people that I have a special place for and know understand who I am and what I am going through.  In this section there are coaching wives like Megan, Heather, Kimberly,Nancy and Dei (just to name a few) who have been there before. Some of the coaching wives I have met don't make that section because they don't look at it the same way as these amazing women do. In this section I can also include friends I have known for as long as I have been able to say I have a best friend, these are people that even though we are separated by miles and space I know I can lean on them in times of need.  In this section are the select family members that understand that love and marriage are a two way street, nothing is perfect and that it's ok to not agree.  Also in this section are people that I have met that I can talk to about anything. People that I know get what I feel and say, some I have never actually met, some I have met a couple of times but they are people that I know hear my heart's song.
    When I look at those people in this section of my stadium, I suddenly realize that I have a lot of friends, family and people who are my average fan. These are people that for whatever reason on my "game day" stand and cheer but as soon as it is over walk out and go on with their lives. These are people that only show up on good days, they aren't the ones that are in the stands during my "snow storm"
     The hardest part for me is realizing that sometimes people who where in  my reserved section early on have now moved out. It's always easier to add to your list than it is to erase someone...those are empty spots in our hearts, empty spots in our seats, empty spots in our lives that when we look up we know they are missing.
      As our game of life wears on, we realize that those people that have stuck by you in the snow storms, rain storms, heat waves and brutual losses are the ones who you long to celebrate with the most when those amazing victories come. It's like when you watch those amazing upsets on College Football...the one's where the fans storm the field, if you watch closely the players are usually looking for those that they shared this day with;(coaches,family,friends) They don't usually celebrate strongly with the random people on the field.
      It's human nature for us to create our own team. For us to seek those that we identify with. For us to circle the wagons and protect ourselves from outside intrusions. So my question is do you know who is in your reserved section?
 

Fall-an ending and a beginning

As I sat playing in the fall weather of WNY with the kids, I realized that its so  much more than cooler temps and brighter colors. Fall has so much of an indication of promise, an accepting of change and a new and bright beginning.

As the kids played in the leaves I couldn't helpe but notice how God's beauty shines. Here are my 5 young children, so new still to the world and unaware of the evils that lie ahead and in stark contrast here are the leaves, brightly hued and slowly becoming little more than dust.

Most people get mildly annoyed with the leaves, they bag them up and throw them away, or burn them in large piles. Yet little more than 6 months ago they where providing shade on a warm day or bringing that much needed green after a long winter. If you think about it don't we as people do the same to those people and things we no longer find a use for.

The brillance of the tree crossed my mind and I couldn't help but see that when the winter comes the tree sheds all that is not needed in order to survive. The tree doesn't hang on to the leaves for a just in case, it just lets go and prepares for the long haul. Yet in the spring, when the sun returns and the weather warms new buds always show up and the new leaves begin to form.

There is a lot of hope in that bare tree. No matter how many leaves it loses during the fall it always sprouts anew in the spring. Aren't we the same, no matter how many leaves we lose don't we always have a chance to start anew if we decide to. Those leaves are the people and things that come into our lives and enrich them, they don't stay forever and that's ok. The branches of our tree are the people and things that we really need. They are the family and friends that stay by us. Interestingly enough like us when the leaves go away you can hardly tell but when you lose a branch there is a scar forever.

Maybe if we looked at ourselves more as trees we'd see the brillance in change. We'd realize that life changes all the time and like the leaves we'd accept that nothing is forever but that nothing is gone forever